Thursday, May 15, 2014

BLANK!

No, really. It is.
That isn’t a “fill in this. What’s coming?” sort of game.
BLANK: A Shieldmaiden’s Voice is HERE!

TODAY!
Anytime a sequel (or in this case, prequel) of a book I love is going to be released, I get excited.
This is different.
This is THE book.
It’s MY book.
Not like I wrote it “mine”, but like…that book that belongs to me.
*Notices the blank stares at the computer screen from our readers*
How about this – BLANK is to Kelsey as Chocolate is to S.R. Karfelt, the author who wrote it.
NOW it’s sinking in. This book is my catnip. It’s one of those stories that has buried itself down deep and become part of my soul. Carole Blank is my friend, which is a hard thing to do, as Carole doesn’t have many friends.
Carole Blank is the reason I’m called a Shieldmaiden. She’s the reason I’m brave enough to start my own Manuscript Critique Business.
Carole Blank and I are, at the same time, NOTHING alike and the exact same person.
Let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time, a meek, quiet girl with short blonde hair went to a writer’s conference. For the first time in her life, she ventured out on her own into the scariest environment known to her: people like herself.
Thankfully, the girl survived the weekend, occasionally catching the eye of one woman, who would always smile at her and turn away. At the airport, returning home from her trip, the girl caught sight of the woman, recognizing her from the conference.
“Go say hello, then. The whole point is to connect with other authors!” her mom said, because let’s be honest…the girl went to the conference alone, but didn’t travel across the country alone.
Begrudging bringing her mother for the first time, the girl stood and approached the other author, a woman named S.R. Karfelt.  As would be expected when one author meets another, they were pleasant, kind, and likely a bit awkward in their conversation.
Months later, still in 2011, after most of those at the small conference had reunited in a group on Facebook, S.R. Karfelt admitted something to the girl.
“When I first saw you, I thought you were my character Carole Blank come to life. You look just like her.”
Startled and a bit thrilled, the girl accepted this compliment as well as the chance to be a reader of Carole Blank’s story.
Thus began my love affair with the story of BLANK.  I suppose part of it might be vanity – this is me! – but the main reason I love this story is because I love to see Carole grow. So often we see a chunk of a character’s life, a span of days or months. Carole we get to know early on and see her transformation. She faces much of what we all face – the desire to belong.
Carole Blank is stronger than I am. She’s fierce and powerful. She’s a shieldmaiden. For those of you who are smart/fortunate enough to have read Warrior of the Ages, Carole won’t be a new character to you. Her story, though, will open your eyes.
Join me and the many others who are already touting BLANK’s praise – you won’t regret it.
Photo Credit: S.R. Karfelt

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

The FOUR Questions Disney Left Unanswered

Anyone who knows me knows I love Disney. LOVE IT!  I love Fairy tales and princesses and all things Belle, Merida, Elsa and Ariel.

And pretty much everyone else.

Well, in that regard, Buzzfeed posted a blog entitled "24 Questions Disney Left Unanswered"


For a Disney buff like me, this is MORE than exciting. DISNEY! You, mysterious entity, you. What have you left unsaid this time?

But then, if you're like me, you start reading the blog and realize something...

The Buzzfeed blogger didn't do her homework.

Most of the questions are answered RIGHT IN THE MOVIE, and several are answered in sequels and TV spin offs and can be GOOGLED to get the answer right away.


So here I go. Here are the 24 Disney Questions left unanswered: Debunked.


1. "How could Pocahontas communicate with John Smith if he was the first English man she’d met?"

  • This one rankles right from the get-go. It's answered right in the film.  In fact, there's a whole song about it - "Listen With Your Heart"  The magic of nature and their own hearts give them the ability to understand each other.



2. In Toy Story: "Why did some toys have voices and others didn’t?"
  • I'm wondering if the Buzzfeed blogger ever noticed that the toys without voices...were also toys without mouths.





3. "One of Aladdin’s wishes was to become a prince. When it came true, does that mean the Genie created an entire kingdom for Aladdin? And if so, what happened to those people?"
  • This one is also easy if you've seen the two movies following Aladdin: As we all know, the third movie is Aladdin and the King of Thieves. WHO HAPPENS TO BE HIS DAD. Hello! Who says that Aladdin's dad wasn't just a normal thief who suddenly rose in the ranks VERY quickly when his son made a wish to be prince.
    Aladdin didn't say WHAT he wished to be prince OF. 


4. "When Boo went missing, what did her parents think happened to her?"
  • The first legitimate question. I have no idea. We will give this one to the Buzzfeed blogger.


5. "And what about Russell's parents in UP!?"
  • Half fair. After all, Russell's dad obviously wasn't involved in Russell's life, so he wouldn't notice, BUT what did Russell's mom think? Poor woman.  So the Buzzfeed Blogger gets half for this one, because we don't know what Russell's mom thought or did.
  • For those keeping count, that's Kelsey 3, Buzzfeed Blogger 1.5


6. "What the hell did Ariel do between finding out about the wedding at sundown and the actual wedding? That’s an entire day."
  • This is another foggy one. We don't know that it was an entire
    day, as we don't know what time Ariel woke up. She had a late night the night before, and it must be exhausting to learn how to use legs (seriously, it'd be like a total leg workout for that girl).  We don't know if it was 9:00am or Noon when she woke. 
  • So without knowing how much time had passed between Ariel waking up, finding out, and the wedding, this one is a bit harder BUT what do YOU do after your heart is broken?
  • You cry a lot. Wallow in misery. Wonder how this could have possibly happened to you. Hate your life. Cry some more. Avoid your true love as he prepares for his wedding and his servants run around getting everything ready. Heartbroken girls WALLOW.  After all she wasn't even invited to attend! It isn't until Scuttle realizes that Vanessa is the Sea Witch that they have something to do! Ariel is 16 and not our strongest Disney Heroine (as much as we love her. She's in the 80s when Disney tread the line of a classic damsel in distress - Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty - and a strong willed fighter - Belle, Mulan, and modern day princesses).

7. "How does Ursula paint her nails under water?"
  • This one is legit again.  I suppose we can all imagine that there's some land-based paint, or maybe she kills little creatures and uses their bits the way she does with her lipstick. It's very foggy, and I will give this one to the Blogger.
  • Buzzfeed blogger 2.5, Kelsey 4

8. "Why did Ursula live in the palace? And why was she banished?"
  • First, this is two questions, silly blogger. And second, anyone who can use google can find out the second answer quickly:
  • In the Disney's TV Animated version of The Little Mermaid, the episode- "Heroes", it is also implied in this episode that the reason behind her (Ursula) exile was because she tried to create copies of the Trident, referred to as dark tridents, for the aforementioned army against Atlantica.
  • Back to the first question: In Kingdom of Hearts (the Disney Video Game) it is stated that Ursula was King Triton's Fortune teller before she was banished for making the dark tridents.
  • Buzzfeed Blogger 2.5, Kelsey 6
  • UPDATE: Anonymous below added this to the argument: "For question 8, you could also listen to the musical version. Ursula is Triton's sister. She says in the song "I want the good times back" pretty much everything you need to know. Their dad died and Ursula got half the sea and Triton got half. Triton got the trident. Ursula was banished because she used black magic. Also during the song "Sweet Child" the musical version, Ariel says something about Aunt Ursula."

9. "Why didn’t Prince Eric think Ariel was a psychopath? She combed her hair WITH A FORK in the middle of their dinner."
  • Anyone else feel like the Buzzfeed Blogger is picking on The Little Mermaid by this point? I digress.
  • Why didn't they think Ariel was psycho? Well they thought she was odd, but they also found her wrapped in a sail on the beach, obviously having been stranded there. Poor girl probably hit her head (and that's why she can't talk). They are going to give her the benefit of the doubt. Likely they had her see a doctor/physician who would have diagnosed her that way - after all, no one believes in mermaids.

10. "Why was Ariel OK with the fact that they were serving seafood? She is a mermaid, therefore she grew up surrounded by seafood."
  • Told you they were picking on this movie.
  • I have two arguments for this, though mine was sort of negated by a friend (Katie Cross, you win this one).
  • I figure I've grown up around cows, pigs, chickens etc...but I still eat pork and beef (not chicken. I hate chicken). 
  • However, Katie pointed out (rather correctly) that Ariel would be a vegetarian. She knows men on land eat fish, but she doesn't.  I know that there are people who eat chicken, and I don't go psycho about it. Most vegetarians know that their friends eat meat, and the cool ones don't freak about that either.
  • Besides, she saves Sebastian...so...

11. "How did Nemo’s fin get damaged if he was an egg? Did he even have fins that early on?"



  • His egg was damaged, that will damage his growing process. That's why his fin never grew to full size, because the damage in the egg screwed it up (regardless of whether or not he had a fin yet)
  • Also, if you look closely when Marlin turns Nemo's egg over in the beginning, you see the little guy moving inside.


12. "Why didn’t Beast know how to use a fork? He was a human."
It's like trying to eat with your non-dominant hand
  • This one is foolishly simple in my opinion. He'd never used a fork AS the Beast. He'd become an animal and acted like one for 10 years. He was only 11 when he was transformed, so it wouldn't be that hard for him to forget and just become feral. Working his paws isn't the same as working hands.


13. Why didn’t Aurora’s parents just freaking invite Maleficent?
  • Would YOU want a crazy evil fairy coming to your daughter's birth celebration? Um, no. No parent would want someone evil there. You would hope they just wouldn't hear about it.
  • Merryweather even says "You weren't wanted"
  • Any parent who loves their child is going to try and keep that child safe from harm.  Maleficent is evil, she'd likely bestow an evil gift whether or not she was invited.
Scary. Terror. Fear. Not welcome here.


14. "How would have Aurora survived her slumber without food or drink?"
  • *Rolls eyes*  Magic. Duh. This Buzzfeed Blogger is losing the element of fantasy.
Does this look like a normal spindle?


15. "Why didn't Cinderella ever try to run away?"
Does this look like a girl who wants to run away?

  • Two thoughts. 1) Maybe she did. How would we know? 2) If she did, where would she go? She has no money, no possessions. She'd likely end up on the street, which is unkind to pretty young women. What good would running do? They may have been awful, but I'd rather do chores and have a roof over my head than have no money and starve.
  • Times were different then - ever see Ever After? She had it rough, and she didn't run away. 
  • Finally, she had too many animal friends she cared for to desert them like that.


16. Mowgli was found in an abandoned canoe. What exactly happened to Mowgli’s parents? Where were they going in the canoe?
  • Another one of those more than one question ones.
  • Question one: Mowgli's parents were killed either in a river accident (the cartoon version) or by Shere Khan (the live action version). As both are Disney movies, both answers are applicable.
  • Why were they in canoe in the cartoon version? Down the river. Not sure why this question matters. Another half to the Buzzfeed Blogger.
  • Buzzfeed Blogger 3, Kelsey 14


17. "Why was Wall-E the only unit of his kind left?"

  • This one seems like it's explained right in the movie.
  • First on a technical standpoint, he uses the parts of others to fix himself. Second:
  • Because he was different. He had, the best I can put it, a soul. He had a personality. A will to live. The others were just machines. They didn't get recharged by the sun. Maybe they forgot. Maybe they broke. Wall E continued on because he had the Heart to do so.
  • Also, it has been argued that he may NOT have been the last one. After all, we only saw one small portion of Earth. We don't know if other bots were still working around the world.



18. "Why are the dwarfs pulling jewels out of the ground? What do they do with them after mining them?"
  • I hate Snow White, so I don't know. If you do, feel free to give me the answer. Otherwise, this point goes to the Blogger for my sheer lack of caring.
  • Buzzfeed Blogger 4, Kelsey 15
  • AMENDED: Reader Sabrina Danielle states the following:
    "In the song 'Hi Ho', they sing "We don't know what we dig 'em for".'  I would call this an answer and a non answer. Nobody gets this point (except maybe Sabrina)
  • Buzzfeed blogger 3, Kelsey 15


19. "How did Hades never know that Hercules was chilling as a mortal? His brother liked him enough to invite him to the birthday party but not to let him know he was watching his son grow up as a mortal?"
  • Maybe Zeus was a little cautious of his Brother Hades and that's why he never told him. Or MAYBE Zeus didn't want ANY of the gods to know because he never knew who took Herc in the first place, so he and Hera kept it secret so no one could get to him again.
  • Because obviously, it had to be a god who took Hercules in the first place, as mortals can't enter Mount Olympus. 
    Right? Right?


    I just love Hercules


20. "Why didn’t the government warn the Incredibles about a trap? If they were tracking all superheroes, wouldn’t they have known about several of them being killed?"
  • First, it's not like they put microchips in the Supers. So if one disappeared, they wouldn't necessarily know he or she died.
  • Second, these superheroes disappeared and the gov't didn't know where they were. In not knowing, they couldn't ADMIT that they'd screwed up, so they said nothing. Just got increasingly more worried. That sounds like the government to me.


21. "Does Scar have a real name? What was he called before he received his scar?"
  • This one makes me mad. Don't blame Disney for your lack of research!
  • Scar's name was Taka. He asked his family to call him scar after an attack by cape buffalo, as a reminder to how foolishly he allowed anger to rule him (didn't go over so well. He fell prey to it again, after all).
    Poor Taka


22. "Anita and Cruella de Vil are supposed to be the same age? And why are they friends? Cruella is kinda rude."
  • First I'm not really sure how this is unanswered. Right in the movie it says Cruella and Anita are "old school friends." That doesn't necessarily make them the same age (I had friends in school who were older), but even so, Cruella smoked that poison and it sure aged her.
  • Second, the second question is an opinion. I think most of us could say we've had a friend who is abusive. It's hard to get out of that relationship, especially if you're the kind of sweetie Anita is. You may not like them, but British propriety and politeness will keep you from turning them out of your house.


23. "How was Rapunzel even able to hold her head up? Wouldn’t it be heavy as shit with all that hair?"

  • Once again, Buzzfeed blogger is getting too literal with fantasy. It's magic hair. BUT even so, as Rapunzel grew with it, she would have developed the neck muscles necessary. Ask Katie, she's a nurse who confirmed it.



24. "Why didn’t Olaf melt when they were visiting the trolls? There was no snow to be found yet there were steam geysers."
  • While intriguing, this one is still answerable.  Elsa set off an "eternal winter", meaning that temperatures have dropped by the extreme. Just because there isn't snow doesn't mean there aren't freezing temps. After all, Kristoff and and Ana are still wearing their furs and winter outfits. If it was warm, they'd peel those off.
  • Also, geysers can still go off when it's super cold. Just because it's freezing above ground doesn't mean it's freezing below ground.
Final Tally:
Buzzfeed Blogger 4 3
Kelsey 22

Do you have theories that differ from mine? Can you answer the Snow White question? Chime in below!


References:
http://lionking.wikia.com/wiki/Scar
http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Ursula
http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Mowgli
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ursula_(The_Little_Mermaid)
The movies themselves.